god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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