I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
