Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
