i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
