yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
