he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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