I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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