At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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