so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
