do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
