i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
A bitchslap is in order.
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