Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm like, not good at living.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
