I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
