hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just tell him i said nine months
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
