So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
