I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
