yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
