do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
