Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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