Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
