I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
