Buhtt sex?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
porn star boner night. come get it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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