Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
