i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
