we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
