I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
