Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
