I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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