You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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