he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
