Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Less talking, more tequila
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
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