i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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