Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize