Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
