I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I'm really busy with my period
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