dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
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