Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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