Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
