Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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