Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
