hell yes lets make some ravioli
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
