So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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