Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
