Swine flu. Run for my life!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
