I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
