This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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