Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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