***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
