were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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