does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
