i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
