It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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