i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
