she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
