halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
