it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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