Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
