well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
