glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
