I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
