I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
