she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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